Proposal......Indecent

Usually, after playing a few hours of basketball or tennis, I like to go to 7-Eleven and quench my thirst with an ice cold Vitamin-Water.

This past Monday, Geeves, Jazz, and I played one of the longest basketball games ever. After the game was over, as we walked to our cars, we decided to go to 7-Eleven to celebrate our win. We decided to go to a 7-Eleven that was in between where Geeves and I and Jazz live. So as to not inconvinience anyone. We each got on our respective smartphones and found one not too far from where we had just won the Pick Up Game Finals.

We got to 7-Eleven and the first thing we saw was this whale of a woman, outside, chugging a 40. That should have been a clear enough sign that this night would have it's share of interesting events. Regardless of the grossest greeter ever, we walked in and bought some drinks. I decided to get a turkey sandwich along with my Vitamin-Water. As we paid for our food and drinks, Jazz asked the cashier:

"Is there somewhere we can sit and lounge and enjoy our purchases?"

The cashier looked at him with a bothered glare in his eye. Jazz took this as:

"Unfortunately not my good sir."

We walked outside and used Jazz's hood as our dinner table and engaged in a deep conversation about politics and religion. As we discussed the benefits of the separation of church and state, the whale woman started walking towards us. Geeves and I were facing Jazz as she walked up to him and in a loud whisper asked:

"Do you want to hire me?"

PLOP.

Jazz had the same glare the cashier did earlier except in Jazz's eyes was what appeared to be a tear. I am not sure if it was from joy, fear, or the scent of this orca's breath.

Jazz replied (through the tears):

"Definitely NOT."

She-mu took Jazz's refusal to "hire" her as a cue to stand behind him and wait for him to say yes eventually. We tried to continue our conversation but were distracted by She-mu. I could not finish my sandwich. This woman was making me want to throw up the portion of my sandwich I had already eaten. I am not trying to be mean BUT this woman was quite the beast. She was wearing what looked like a black sweater/shirt that had turned into a tube top since her belly was showing. She was a sight for no eyes. Jazz then asked what we would be dressing up as for Halloween. Geeves said he would be He-Man. I am not sure why. Jazz told us he would be dressing up as a pimp. Maybe his latest proposition had inspired him? Finally I said:

"I am going to dress up as a fat drunk woman."

That was all it took for She-mu to leave us alone. Geeves then said:

"Finally, your jerkness pays off."

I did not care. I was tired of watching She-mu sway back and forth behind Jazz, listening to our conversation. I was worried that she might sway too much forward and crush my brother. She already had a crush on him and for me that was enough.

After She-mu had left our area, we saw her go up to various cars and offer her "services" to various men. We were hoping someone WOULD hire her only to see what type of person it was who would be putting her on payroll. No one did though. She didn't even get past the first interview.

Before she could come back and ruin the rest of my sandwich, I told the guys we should skidadel. I hopped into Geeves car and as we drove off, we could see She-mu going up to Jazz's car. We stopped to see what was going on. We saw her knock on his window and it looked as though she was trying to talk to him. We could not help but laugh. Jazz finally caught up to us at the stop light. We asked him what she had told him. He said:

"She asked me if I wanted to have sex with her."

I asked:

"Well, what did you say?"

He said:

"Hell NO."

Geeves and I busted out laughing.

Jazz's new nickname is John.

A night to remember? More like a night to forget.