Words to Live By

It was the Sunday before Memorial Day and we got the taco bug so we decided to go to Tijuana.

The crew that decided to go consisted of the following characters:

Myself
Conrad
Ed Noir
Edward Blanc
Jacob Dylan - Conrad's brother
Cool Al
Not So Cool Al

We all packed into Cool Al's mom's minivan and went south of the border.

When we got there the first thing we did was find a taco stand and enjoyed some delicious tacos. It was heavenly. Our dinner conversation consisted mostly of Edward Blanc talking about Adelita's, a high end brothel. It seemed to have caught the interest of Ed Noir because he kept talking about finding it.

After we stuffed our faces we decided to head to "la Revolucion" and check out the scene. Maybe buy some fake Dolce and Gabana sunglasses.

We were looking for some parking. No one wanted to drop for paid parking so we drove around looking for FREE parking. For some reason, Not So Cool Al directed Cool Al to park in one of the shadiest places since Slim Shady's Brazilian wax.

We didn't argue with the free parking, locked the van and were on our way. As we were walking away some neighborhood rapscallions came up to us and said:

"No se deben de parquear ayi" (translated - "you shouldn't park there")

The American pride was clearly showing when we replied:

"Cayesen niños mal criados" (shut your trap)

We walked to the main street and found that on a Sunday night, Tijuana and "la Revolucion" are kind of boring so we decided to just go home.

On the way back to the car we were following Ed Noir for some reason. It was clear that he was on a search for Adelita's. Following him was beautiful. It seemed as though he knew exactly where to go. Like if he was being lead by his boner in the style of how Native American's follow a branch to water. His wiener would lead us to the brothel district. Of course when we got there no one had money or the guts to enter the place so we headed back to the van.

When we got to the van we noticed that the back window was broken! Freaking hoodlums had broken into the van and stolen our stuff! BASTARDS!

As we stood there shocked and worried and feeling violated, the lead of the rapscallions we'd seen earlier walked up to us and said the following phrase that will forever live in infamy:

"Te dije guey!"

PLOP.

We went home defeated. Filled with tacos and memories but with empty hearts and and empty van.